To You, Lord, I call;
My rock, do not be deaf to me,
For if You are silent to me,
I will become like those who go down to the pit. Psalm 28:1

Part 1 – Defense Against Despair

It’s been almost a year since my last post.  That was certainly not my intent.  However, life’s demands, responsibilities, and frustrations all played a part in the silence.  While a few have asked about that silence and whether or not I intend to continue to blog (which, Lord willing, is my plan), I seriously doubt that the lack of these blog posts has caused anyone great consternation. Conversely, as David indicates in the passage above, the silence of God is another matter.   

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Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.  1 Thessalonians 5:23

As I sit down to write, there are stain and varnish fumes invading the main level of our home and a jackhammer running in the basement in an effort to improve our property.  We purchased this house at the end of September.  It is now nearing the end of January and despite a significant number of improvements already completed, there is still much work to do.  It’s been a long and frustrating process.  Repeatedly I find myself anxious and overwhelmed by the long list of repairs, the improvements needed, and the cost to complete them.  However, in my frustration, I also see parallels between our house and my soul.  More specifically, I’m referring to the vision, the challenges, the cost, and the anxiety associated with any spiritual improvement.

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Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.  Isaiah 41:10

During the advent season, many are looking forward to time shared with family and friends, however, others of us may find that this time of year has more challenges than pleasures.  Gatherings present various issues for me.  The biggest challenge is food.  I have to navigate what is available so that I eat enough without getting so sick that I can’t enjoy myself.  Clothing is another challenge as I am very sensitive to both fabrics and temperature.  What may work one day may not on another.  An additional hurdle is a heightened “flight or fight” response.  Consequently, my physical response to uncomfortable social situations and personality differences are often exacerbated.  While I will enjoy those with whom I celebrate, there are many others that I wish the celebrations would include, but will not; they will be sorely missed.  There are also uncertainties in our life making this holiday season less than carefree.  I am not alone in any of this as I recognize that many will find it difficult to enjoy the holidays this year due to their own health issues, the rigors of travel, the loss of loved ones, family conflicts, etc.  Yet in our trials, we should still seek to experience the peace, hope, and joy that our Savior provides. 

With all of the activities of this year, I am already spent so I must admit that I am less than enthused with respect to any more activities that make significant demands of me.  However, I realize that celebrating the incarnation of Christ and the time spent with family will have benefits both spiritually and emotionally.  I believe our ever gracious Savior understands my weakness and placed Isaiah 41:10 before me in light of the advent season as a reminder of my true source of peace, hope and joy.

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My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26

Yet again I find myself failing.  I have done what I can to pace myself, but my body is weak and does not seem to be up to the task these days, therefore, this will be brief. 

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How blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who greatly delights in His commandments. He will not fear evil tidings; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.   Psalm 112:1,7

In the spring of 1996 my wife and I left around 7 a.m. to take our older daughter to play in a soccer tournament.  As we began to walk onto the fields searching for Adrienne’s team, I noticed people pointing at us and a police officer walking towards us.  I knew that we were about to receive bad news and dread began to fill my soul.  My fears centered around our younger daughter who was not with us and my mother who had been ill.  I could not bear the thought of anything happening to either of them.  The police officer informed us that my mother had passed away around the time that we left our home and that my father had contacted them to inform us.  In that moment my strength left and I dropped to my knees filled with both grief and relief.  I grieved my mother’s passing and was greatly relieved that Christine was ok.  Since that day, I have learned much about dreaded news through experience and the faith of fellow servants of our Lord. 

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Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.  Proverbs 4:23

This week we began the process of packing up our house.  I started with a hutch that we are planning to sell.  It took all day as I was vigilant to wrap things carefully…especially the important items.  Nothing we have is worth much.  However, many of the items have significant sentimental value.  Some are gifts while others are dishes that my parents used which evoke emotional responses as well as fond memories.  As I carefully packed each item and placed the most treasured items in boxes that we will personally handle, I was challenged with the thought that I might possibly be putting more energy into protecting mere household goods than I do in protecting my mind, my soul, and the gospel.  That experience has had me pondering this topic all week and challenged my thoughts and behaviors.

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Yet for us there is but one God, the Father, from whom are all things and we exist for Him; and one Lord, Jesus Christ, by whom are all things, and we exist through Him.  1 Corinthians 8:6

Yesterday was another rough day.  I had a dentist appointment, met with my trainer briefly and went to the doctor.  Prior to illness taking over my life, working these in around my job and responsibilities at home would have been nothing exceptional.   They were minor adjustments to my normal routine.  However, yesterday, they wiped me out and left me pretty useless.  Some days, the thought of getting out of bed and simple routine tasks such as taking a shower can be daunting and insurmountable.  While chronic illness seems to bring with it a regular cycle of pain and fatigue leaving one feeling alone, defeated, and useless, other trials in life like the death of a loved one or a job loss can do the same until they are resolved or the critical stage has passed.  In an effort to combat those feelings consider the following passages about God and His perspective. 

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But he who listens to me shall live securely and will be at ease from the dread of evil. Proverbs 1:33

Reassurance is the act of removing doubts and fears.  Most people like reassurances.  It comes in many forms.  At times it’s the emotional reassurance of having a close relative or friend who walks with us in difficult times.  It may be a legal document that spells out our rights or claims to anyone who needs to know.  Another example is a simple receipt that we hang on to as proof of sale.  All of these and many more offer some form of comfort that allow us to live, work, own, or exchange without fear of being harmed or cheated.  However, when it comes to true reassurance, we look to our Sovereign Lord who is the ultimate authority in all matters of faith and life.

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We count those blessed who endured. You have heard of the endurance of Job and have seen the outcome of the Lord’s dealings, that the Lord is full of compassion and is merciful. James 5:11

Yesterday was a beautiful day so I went for a run.  While I managed to endure to the end, it wasn’t easy for several reasons. In addition to my normal health concerns, a couple of weeks ago, I had a respiratory infection that has left me with a nagging cough.   I have asthma and forgot to use my inhaler before the run.  I also have a knee that isn’t always the most cooperative as well as a wart being treated on one foot that can be uncomfortable.  I could go on, but you get the idea…there were obstacles that had to be endured to finish running the course.  Today it turned cold and rainy causing my body to ache significantly.  Further, it was one of those days when fatigue and lethargy set in.  Today’s form of endurance had a different nature, but was endurance nonetheless.  In fact, every day seems to require a fair amount of patient endurance.  I must accept undesired changes in my lifestyle and abilities as my body often seems to be my worst enemy.  It can be rather trying at times.  However, each day I do my best to: stand, run the race, endure with grace, and to live well.  Some days that goes fairly well while others see limited, if any, success.  I struggle daily to endure because of God’s involvement in my life.  From my perspective, here are three of the many encouragements to endure.

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The Lord’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.  Lamentations 3:22-23

As we study scripture, we learn about God. It is one thing to intellectually understand God’s faithfulness, His promises, His character, the sacrifice and intercession of Christ, the work of the Holy Spirit, etc.; however, it is something altogether different to experience them.  Knowing that Christ died for our sins does not save us…it is accepting His atoning work on our behalf that provides salvation.  Similarly, knowing about God intellectually does not develop a relationship with Him.  Rather, it is through reliance on Him throughout our life experiences, recognizing His work in our lives, and seeking to live for Him alone that we develop a relationship.  It is experiencing God that takes us from an intellectual understanding to a relationship that allows us to mature in faith.  Further, when we acknowledge God at work in our own lives, we provide edification and encouragement to others. To experience God and not share that fact with fellow believers would be remiss.  Consequently this week’s post is about testifying to God’s faithfulness as an experience.

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