Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.  Isaiah 41:10

During the advent season, many are looking forward to time shared with family and friends, however, others of us may find that this time of year has more challenges than pleasures.  Gatherings present various issues for me.  The biggest challenge is food.  I have to navigate what is available so that I eat enough without getting so sick that I can’t enjoy myself.  Clothing is another challenge as I am very sensitive to both fabrics and temperature.  What may work one day may not on another.  An additional hurdle is a heightened “flight or fight” response.  Consequently, my physical response to uncomfortable social situations and personality differences are often exacerbated.  While I will enjoy those with whom I celebrate, there are many others that I wish the celebrations would include, but will not; they will be sorely missed.  There are also uncertainties in our life making this holiday season less than carefree.  I am not alone in any of this as I recognize that many will find it difficult to enjoy the holidays this year due to their own health issues, the rigors of travel, the loss of loved ones, family conflicts, etc.  Yet in our trials, we should still seek to experience the peace, hope, and joy that our Savior provides. 

With all of the activities of this year, I am already spent so I must admit that I am less than enthused with respect to any more activities that make significant demands of me.  However, I realize that celebrating the incarnation of Christ and the time spent with family will have benefits both spiritually and emotionally.  I believe our ever gracious Savior understands my weakness and placed Isaiah 41:10 before me in light of the advent season as a reminder of my true source of peace, hope and joy.

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My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26

Yet again I find myself failing.  I have done what I can to pace myself, but my body is weak and does not seem to be up to the task these days, therefore, this will be brief. 

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Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; yes, wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:14

This spring I was finally diagnosed after a 27 year wait.  A fresh perspective, advances in technology, and a better understanding of the human body have come together provide the relevant information for a conclusive finding.  During that time there was much angst, frustration, concern and of course much prayer on our behalf.  I regularly went to the Lord throughout that time, however, the tone and nature of my prayers changed as God used my poor health to mature my perspective.  At first I prayed that God would relieve my pain.  After some time, I began to ask for His grace to endure this illness.  Having given up my career and studying the matter in earnest, I began to request that God would instruct me.  I have now come to the point that I beseech our Father in Heaven to use my trials to allow me to be a minister of His mercy to others.    While I make no claims to being the best student or a perfect model of godliness, I am grateful that God has matured my faith and has kept me looking to Him for solace and direction.  To be sure waiting on God can be difficult.  Scripture is full of examples of those that tried to hurry things along rather than wait on God.  Yet, in order to patiently and graciously wait on God we must keep in mind that He will hear us, He is our hope, and He will be good to us.

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We count those blessed who endured. You have heard of the endurance of Job and have seen the outcome of the Lord’s dealings, that the Lord is full of compassion and is merciful. James 5:11

Yesterday was a beautiful day so I went for a run.  While I managed to endure to the end, it wasn’t easy for several reasons. In addition to my normal health concerns, a couple of weeks ago, I had a respiratory infection that has left me with a nagging cough.   I have asthma and forgot to use my inhaler before the run.  I also have a knee that isn’t always the most cooperative as well as a wart being treated on one foot that can be uncomfortable.  I could go on, but you get the idea…there were obstacles that had to be endured to finish running the course.  Today it turned cold and rainy causing my body to ache significantly.  Further, it was one of those days when fatigue and lethargy set in.  Today’s form of endurance had a different nature, but was endurance nonetheless.  In fact, every day seems to require a fair amount of patient endurance.  I must accept undesired changes in my lifestyle and abilities as my body often seems to be my worst enemy.  It can be rather trying at times.  However, each day I do my best to: stand, run the race, endure with grace, and to live well.  Some days that goes fairly well while others see limited, if any, success.  I struggle daily to endure because of God’s involvement in my life.  From my perspective, here are three of the many encouragements to endure.

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Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.  Psalm 55:22

As I was going into the groomer’s shop this week to pick up our dog, our groomer was going to her car and looked at me but didn’t acknowledge me.  Later when she came back into the shop, she apologized for making me wait and stated that she thought I was a teenager using one of their parking spots and admitted that she was frustrated that a non-customer might be using their allotted parking space.  Given my age, salt and pepper hair, and a few extra pounds, the thought of me looking more than 40 years younger was laughable, but I took the “win”.  In her defense, I had on a hat, sun glasses and gym clothes making her quick glance less than informative.  Similar misconceptions may arise for those of us with invisible illnesses.  It can be challenging when people make assumptions regarding our health based on how we look.   When we make the effort to attend events and do our best to look good, others often fail to understand how ill we are, how difficult daily tasks can be, or how challenging it is for us to engage in social activities.  Those struggling with grief or various trials may face some of the same challenges with respect to the understanding or expectations of others as their struggle is not readily visible.  Even those with visible disorders may be challenged by the expectations and assumptions of others if they strive to present a strong demeanor.  Consequently, the phrase “you look good” can quickly crush our spirits.  This was certainly true for me for many years until I was shown a more biblical perspective that involves the impact of God’s sustaining grace.

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The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him.  Romans 8:16-17

As I continue to facilitate another support group, I have the benefit of being reminded of (or in some cases, relearning) past lessons regarding the roll of suffering in faith and in my relationship with God.  I’ve been going to church since I was born and I’ve been a Christian most of my life.  Much of my childhood was spent being instructed in or listening to the finer points of faith being discussed or debated.  As an adult, I’ve participated in many such discussions and led a few.  These are the things of religion.  While I have had a relationship with God since my youth and recognize periods of significant spiritual growth throughout my life, that relationship has been significantly altered by my illness.  In that regard, my suffering has been my greatest blessing in that has matured my faith and pushed me to a deeper relationship with our Lord.

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We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed—always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.  2 Corinthians 4:8-10

Merriam-Webster defines encumbered as impeded, hampered or hindered with respect to functions or activities.  A reality of my life and the lives of others dealing with chronic illness and pain is that we are encumbered in everything we do.  Those of us are encumbered with respect to our ability to function are also, by definition, encumbered in our activities.  Often it’s not just the physical issues but also the mental ones.  It takes so much energy to accept and manage our physical problems and limitations that we are also mentally encumbered.  Further, the problem is not limited to those with physical or mental problems, but also extends to those who are grieving, have relationship problems or are enduring some other trial.  These may also find themselves encumbered as they attempt to accomplish the tasks set before them.  Despite our struggles, God still calls us to complete tasks for Him.  It is not ours to question or deny but rather to complete with aide of our Heavenly Father.

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“Blessed be the Lord, for He has made marvelous His lovingkindness to me in a besieged city.”  Psalm 31:21

For those of you that follow my blog closely, you may have noticed that my Monday quotes and the verse of the day have dropped off.  Life has been a bit challenging and I’ve had to surrender a bit to maintain my sanity.  Life with chronic illness is a battle against both known and unknown factors.  It is a battle of the mind and soul as well as the body which often leaves one feeling besieged. 

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“And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”  Matthew 28:20

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”  Isaiah 41:10

Whether alone or in a crowd, have you ever wondered where God is?  Despite God reminding us throughout scripture that He is in fact with us and will never leave us, we still have our doubts.  I’m not sure how it came about, but during a recent worship service I started thinking about the presence of God.  If I had to guess, I would assume that Matthew 28:20 was one of the texts used in the sermon.  In any event, I’ve been pondering our failure to recognize the presence of God in our lives.  I don’t know about you but, I certainly have a tendency to take it for granted and, therefore, fail to recognize it or rely on it when I should.  As I’ve considered this problem, there seem to be four primary reasons that we fail to recognize God’s presence in our lives: ignorance, immaturity, impediments and refusal.

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“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”  Psalm 73:26.

I’m taking it easy this week. Due to the the holidays, traveling and my normal responsibilities, my body, mind and soul need a rest.  Consequently, I thought I’d use the opportunity to provide some personal background for this blog, and for those who are unaware, share my passion.  It’s not my norm.  My history tells me not to trust, but my Lord says to be transparent to help others.  Further, I prefer to focus on the positive to keep me from dwelling on the negative.  With those disclaimers in place, let me open up a bit for you.

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