You have removed my acquaintances far from me; You have made me an object of loathing to them; I am shut up and cannot go out.  Psalm 88:8

As I read Psalm 88, it seems to address in varying degrees our current situation. Due to the current pandemic, the world is more limited and isolated than usual.  Not only that, but there seems to be a sense of mutual loathing between those with compromised health and those who are relatively healthy.    The former fear that some do not take the guidelines seriously enough and may further compromise their fragile world while the latter may not appreciate the just how fragile some of our health situations are and deem those concerned as overly cautious.  Admittedly, having been tested this week for Covid-19 following a rough respiratory infection, I’m somewhere in the middle of the scenario.  I want us to be safe, but don’t want people cruelly criticizing others without knowing their stories…there are those who have legitimate reasons to be out and about.  No matter what perspective one takes, we are for the most part, “shut up and cannot go out”.

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Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.  Isaiah 41:10

During the advent season, many are looking forward to time shared with family and friends, however, others of us may find that this time of year has more challenges than pleasures.  Gatherings present various issues for me.  The biggest challenge is food.  I have to navigate what is available so that I eat enough without getting so sick that I can’t enjoy myself.  Clothing is another challenge as I am very sensitive to both fabrics and temperature.  What may work one day may not on another.  An additional hurdle is a heightened “flight or fight” response.  Consequently, my physical response to uncomfortable social situations and personality differences are often exacerbated.  While I will enjoy those with whom I celebrate, there are many others that I wish the celebrations would include, but will not; they will be sorely missed.  There are also uncertainties in our life making this holiday season less than carefree.  I am not alone in any of this as I recognize that many will find it difficult to enjoy the holidays this year due to their own health issues, the rigors of travel, the loss of loved ones, family conflicts, etc.  Yet in our trials, we should still seek to experience the peace, hope, and joy that our Savior provides. 

With all of the activities of this year, I am already spent so I must admit that I am less than enthused with respect to any more activities that make significant demands of me.  However, I realize that celebrating the incarnation of Christ and the time spent with family will have benefits both spiritually and emotionally.  I believe our ever gracious Savior understands my weakness and placed Isaiah 41:10 before me in light of the advent season as a reminder of my true source of peace, hope and joy.

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My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26

Yet again I find myself failing.  I have done what I can to pace myself, but my body is weak and does not seem to be up to the task these days, therefore, this will be brief. 

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Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; yes, wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:14

This spring I was finally diagnosed after a 27 year wait.  A fresh perspective, advances in technology, and a better understanding of the human body have come together provide the relevant information for a conclusive finding.  During that time there was much angst, frustration, concern and of course much prayer on our behalf.  I regularly went to the Lord throughout that time, however, the tone and nature of my prayers changed as God used my poor health to mature my perspective.  At first I prayed that God would relieve my pain.  After some time, I began to ask for His grace to endure this illness.  Having given up my career and studying the matter in earnest, I began to request that God would instruct me.  I have now come to the point that I beseech our Father in Heaven to use my trials to allow me to be a minister of His mercy to others.    While I make no claims to being the best student or a perfect model of godliness, I am grateful that God has matured my faith and has kept me looking to Him for solace and direction.  To be sure waiting on God can be difficult.  Scripture is full of examples of those that tried to hurry things along rather than wait on God.  Yet, in order to patiently and graciously wait on God we must keep in mind that He will hear us, He is our hope, and He will be good to us.

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It’s been a hectic week so I’ve dusted off and tweaked an older post on a topic that is dear to me…especially as a grandfather.

Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.  Proverbs 22:6

Both of my grandfathers were excellent carpenters.  My paternal grandfather made furniture with his brother-in-law while my maternal grandfather made several pieces for our family.  But their skills were not limited to furniture.  Similarly, my father was and my uncle is skilled in carpentry, masonry, electrical work, etc.  Having grown up on a farm, their skills needed to have a broad spectrum.  Sadly, neither my brothers nor I are particularly well trained in those areas.  Certainly, we can all swing a hammer or use a screwdriver, but the level of expertise is greatly diminished.  We grew up in a different era and circumstance which did not make those talents as necessary.  Consequently, our father didn’t feel the same need to train us as his father did.  As a result, the knowledge did not get passed from one generation to the other.   Living with chronic illness requires a special skill set, especially in the spiritual and psychological areas.  It is our trust in God that allows us to live well and the lack of it which causes us to falter.   Whether or not we have children of our own, there will be children (whether infants or grown adults)  in our sphere of influence that we will impact positively or negatively depending on how we face our illness and/or the trials that arise during the course of our lives.

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To know wisdom and instruction, to discern the sayings of understanding, to receive instruction in wise behavior, righteousness, justice and equity; to give prudence to the naive, to the youth knowledge and discretion, a wise man will hear and increase in learning, and a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel, to understand a proverb and a figure, the words of the wise and their riddles.  The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.  Proverbs 1:2-7

Well the New Year has begun and as I discussed in the last post of December (“Joy Mixed with Sorrow”), the year is already shaping up with a mix of ups and downs.  God has blessed me with new opportunities to serve Him, traveling mercies, daily provisions that meet spiritual and physical needs as well as celebrations with family.  However, we have already had some stressful situations as well as being concerned with significant challenges facing family and friends.  One concern is that we must decide what to do with our dog who has outbursts that prevent us from trusting her to be good-natured (if interested, see “Animal Instincts and Obedience School”) and present concerns for liability.  I really love this dog, but she snarls and snaps for no apparent reason.  Further, in the back of my mind is an upcoming visit to a new doctor.  There is the hope that after 28 years of significant illness there might be an answer which helps manage my health issues more effectively.  However, past history suggests that it is likely another vain attempt.   The mantra that I apply to difficult situations and uncertainties is “God remains on His throne and is in control”.  I don’t say that lightly as it reminds me of both where hope lies and that my experiences have ramifications beyond my finite ability to understand.  As helpful as that is, I also need to work on how I react to the ups and downs of life.  So as I progress through the year, my goal is to focus on four things: a soft heart, discernment, joy and gratitude.

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“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.”  Matthew 11:28

I was reading a devotional by John Piper recently that stressed how we should prepare our hearts during Advent in order to celebrate Christmas properly, i.e. Advent is to Christmas as Lent is to Easter.  Too often, we get so caught up in the preparations and parties associated with Christmas that we fail to settle our souls and worship Christ for His priceless gift freely offered.  That offer, or rather our Savior’s invitation, is the basis of our celebration for without it, there is no peace, joy or forgiveness.  While Matthew 11:28 is not a passage normally associated with Advent, it does speak to the heart of Christ’s mission as He came to earth and dwelt among us so long ago.

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“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. For by it the men of old gained approval.”  Hebrews 11:1-2

Over the course of my life, I’ve encountered a wide variety of individuals.  Most of these events are buried in the recesses of my mind as they had little noticeable impact.  The encounters that I do remember are the ones that were: repetitive, damaging, unexpected, uplifting, or loving as they left a significant mark on my life.  At the top of the list of memorable encounters are my encounters with God.  Encounters with the Lord come in a wide variety and are perfectly tailored to the people involved as well as the need.  They may be direct encounters as Noah, Abraham or Moses experienced; through His messengers as was the case with Mary and Joseph; through a grand event as Paul’s conversion or the more subtle work of the Holy Spirit.  No matter what form our encounter takes, we can be certain of one thing: we will never be the same afterward for we will either trust the character of God and draw closer to Him or we will reject Him in disbelief and pull away.

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Oh give thanks to the Lord, call upon His name; Make known His deeds among the peoples.  Psalm 105:1

As it is Thanksgiving in the United States, please join me in refection upon Psalm 136 which is a beautiful model for being truly thankful.  As this Psalm states, no matter what God is doing, His love for us is everlasting.  It starts with who God is, moves through various things that He has done and finishes with how He is ever mindful of us.

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But according to His promise we are looking for new heavens and a new earth, in which righteousness dwells.2 Peter 3:13

At the top of the back wall of our church’s sanctuary is a small window.  For me, one of the joys of singing in our choir was looking through that window to the sky and imagining that we were singing straight to the throne of God.   It always encouraged my soul and gave new energy to my singing.  Sadly, the addition of a balcony required blinds on that window.  That imagery is now but a fond memory.  Often it seems that the daily events of our lives and the concerns that we bear are like that blind and prevent us from contemplating and looking forward to heaven.  However, it is helpful to pause every now and then to evaluate our focus.  In that light, consider the following.

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