To You, Lord, I call;
My rock, do not be deaf to me,
For if You are silent to me,
I will become like those who go down to the pit. Psalm 28:1

Part 1 – Defense Against Despair

It’s been almost a year since my last post.  That was certainly not my intent.  However, life’s demands, responsibilities, and frustrations all played a part in the silence.  While a few have asked about that silence and whether or not I intend to continue to blog (which, Lord willing, is my plan), I seriously doubt that the lack of these blog posts has caused anyone great consternation. Conversely, as David indicates in the passage above, the silence of God is another matter.   

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You have removed my acquaintances far from me; You have made me an object of loathing to them; I am shut up and cannot go out.  Psalm 88:8

As I read Psalm 88, it seems to address in varying degrees our current situation. Due to the current pandemic, the world is more limited and isolated than usual.  Not only that, but there seems to be a sense of mutual loathing between those with compromised health and those who are relatively healthy.    The former fear that some do not take the guidelines seriously enough and may further compromise their fragile world while the latter may not appreciate the just how fragile some of our health situations are and deem those concerned as overly cautious.  Admittedly, having been tested this week for Covid-19 following a rough respiratory infection, I’m somewhere in the middle of the scenario.  I want us to be safe, but don’t want people cruelly criticizing others without knowing their stories…there are those who have legitimate reasons to be out and about.  No matter what perspective one takes, we are for the most part, “shut up and cannot go out”.

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A poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which amount to a cent.  Calling His disciples to Him, He said to them, “Truly I say to you, this poor widow put in more than all the contributors to the treasury; for they all put in out of their surplus, but she, out of her poverty, put in all she owned, all she had to live on.”  Mark 12:42-44

In an attempt to get more familiar with our new surroundings, Marie and I ventured out to a diner that we hadn’t tried yet.  As we walked in, I noticed a young man serving as a busboy.  It only took a fraction of a second to recognize that he was both physically and mentally challenged.   Some might conclude that he had little to offer, yet here he was providing a service for the restaurant and its patrons.  During our meal, I also observed that despite his challenges, he appeared to communicate a kind heart as he interacted with a few of the customers as they came in or left.  Whether it is due to self-perception, physical handicap, chronic illness, or some other limitation or trial, many of us often feel as though we have little value and little to offer because our resources are lacking in some form or fashion.  As the passage above indicates, God is more concerned about what we do with our resources rather than how grand they are.  In that regard, consider how expectations, assumptions, and actions relate to our offerings to God and man.  

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With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints.  Ephesians 6:18

The more people you know and the more you get to know people, the more you become aware of their need for prayer.  This is especially true within the body of Christ where the struggles of others are made known through prayer requests. When I was able, an additional benefit to singing with our church’s worship team was the ability to scan the congregation and offer prayer for those before me that I knew were struggling.  While I no longer have that opportunity, I find that social media provides the same advantage as friends’ posts become reminders to pray.  Given my own circumstances, I would guess that a greater than average percentage of my friends face their own battles with chronic illness in addition to the “normal” trials of life.  Consequently, I often find myself overwhelmed and, therefore, offering many simple prayers for: the need, wisdom, peace, their soul, and the glory of God.

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Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.  1 Thessalonians 5:23

As I sit down to write, there are stain and varnish fumes invading the main level of our home and a jackhammer running in the basement in an effort to improve our property.  We purchased this house at the end of September.  It is now nearing the end of January and despite a significant number of improvements already completed, there is still much work to do.  It’s been a long and frustrating process.  Repeatedly I find myself anxious and overwhelmed by the long list of repairs, the improvements needed, and the cost to complete them.  However, in my frustration, I also see parallels between our house and my soul.  More specifically, I’m referring to the vision, the challenges, the cost, and the anxiety associated with any spiritual improvement.

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There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven. Ecclesiastes 3:1

Conventional wisdom suggests that bloggers post regularly and has many suggestions for getting posts noticed more readily.  While I have desired to post weekly for the last three months, it has not been the case due to various factors.  So while I am still unable to accomplish the desired post, I am able to at least take time to check in.

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Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.  Isaiah 41:10

During the advent season, many are looking forward to time shared with family and friends, however, others of us may find that this time of year has more challenges than pleasures.  Gatherings present various issues for me.  The biggest challenge is food.  I have to navigate what is available so that I eat enough without getting so sick that I can’t enjoy myself.  Clothing is another challenge as I am very sensitive to both fabrics and temperature.  What may work one day may not on another.  An additional hurdle is a heightened “flight or fight” response.  Consequently, my physical response to uncomfortable social situations and personality differences are often exacerbated.  While I will enjoy those with whom I celebrate, there are many others that I wish the celebrations would include, but will not; they will be sorely missed.  There are also uncertainties in our life making this holiday season less than carefree.  I am not alone in any of this as I recognize that many will find it difficult to enjoy the holidays this year due to their own health issues, the rigors of travel, the loss of loved ones, family conflicts, etc.  Yet in our trials, we should still seek to experience the peace, hope, and joy that our Savior provides. 

With all of the activities of this year, I am already spent so I must admit that I am less than enthused with respect to any more activities that make significant demands of me.  However, I realize that celebrating the incarnation of Christ and the time spent with family will have benefits both spiritually and emotionally.  I believe our ever gracious Savior understands my weakness and placed Isaiah 41:10 before me in light of the advent season as a reminder of my true source of peace, hope and joy.

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Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.  Matthew 6:19-21 

Moving, breaking up housekeeping, and disposing of the possessions belonging to someone who has died are events in life that painfully remind us that our possessions have the ability to weigh us down.  Having just moved, we are very aware of how much we have despite having tried on several occasions to reduce our household goods.  As this move was somewhat sudden, I’m sure that we have moved many things that we would have discarded with more time to sort and pack.  We have also acquired items that the previous owners left in our new home.  Another painful reminder of how much we have is that we are making major repairs to our home so we are literally tripping over boxes as we wait for the work to be completed before we unpack.  Consequently, my mind keeps pondering passages like the one above that caution us about having too many possessions.  While there are certainly more thoughts on the matter, I believe that Christ’s warnings about wealth were born out of concern for our well-being, stewardship, and focus.  To be sure, they are in intertwined but each raises different nuances.

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My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26

Yet again I find myself failing.  I have done what I can to pace myself, but my body is weak and does not seem to be up to the task these days, therefore, this will be brief. 

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The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.  Proverbs 16:9

As reflected in the passage above, we often make plans only to have them changed or redirected.  Such is the case today.  I have two posts partially written but I’m not up to the task of creating.  The weather has turned and my body is reacting.  Further recent events in our life have me distracted and unsettled which also affects me physically.  As frustrating as it is, it is a common dilemma in my life.  In an attempt to be more in tune with my physical limitations and not exacerbate the situation, I have decided to reuse a post from two years ago.  It’s not my first choice, but it is the prudent one and a nuance of accepting the realities of my life with some measure of grace.  Change is inevitable and as I contemplate the changes that God has made to various plans throughout my life and the lives of those I love, four reasons that come to mind are: redirection, placement, refinement, and grace.

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