You have removed my acquaintances far from me; You have made me an object of loathing to them; I am shut up and cannot go out.  Psalm 88:8

As I read Psalm 88, it seems to address in varying degrees our current situation. Due to the current pandemic, the world is more limited and isolated than usual.  Not only that, but there seems to be a sense of mutual loathing between those with compromised health and those who are relatively healthy.    The former fear that some do not take the guidelines seriously enough and may further compromise their fragile world while the latter may not appreciate the just how fragile some of our health situations are and deem those concerned as overly cautious.  Admittedly, having been tested this week for Covid-19 following a rough respiratory infection, I’m somewhere in the middle of the scenario.  I want us to be safe, but don’t want people cruelly criticizing others without knowing their stories…there are those who have legitimate reasons to be out and about.  No matter what perspective one takes, we are for the most part, “shut up and cannot go out”.

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The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.  Proverbs 16:9

As reflected in the passage above, we often make plans only to have them changed or redirected.  Such is the case today.  I have two posts partially written but I’m not up to the task of creating.  The weather has turned and my body is reacting.  Further recent events in our life have me distracted and unsettled which also affects me physically.  As frustrating as it is, it is a common dilemma in my life.  In an attempt to be more in tune with my physical limitations and not exacerbate the situation, I have decided to reuse a post from two years ago.  It’s not my first choice, but it is the prudent one and a nuance of accepting the realities of my life with some measure of grace.  Change is inevitable and as I contemplate the changes that God has made to various plans throughout my life and the lives of those I love, four reasons that come to mind are: redirection, placement, refinement, and grace.

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His master said to him, “Well done, good and faithful slave. You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.”  Matthew 25:23

This past weekend, my daughter and I performed the father daughter dance at her wedding reception.  It was not flawless, but it was fun and was, by the accounts of others, beautiful and well done.  However, those three minutes and thirty-one seconds of dancing were the end result of hours of instruction and practice.  Throughout the last few months there was a fair amount of perseverance for both of us.  My daughter was juggling work, moving, wedding planning, dance lessons with her husband, and at the end a sinus infection in addition to lessons with me.  For my part, the normal responsibilities of life, the extra activity necessary for the wedding preparations as well as getting our home ready for company and the frequent dance lessons caused by body to get too run down.  On one occasion my wife and our dance instructor ended a dance lesson shortly after we began because I was too fatigued to function well.  The Monday and Tuesday prior to the wedding, I was also struggling to do anything of value.  In short, the celebratory dance that was enjoyed was culmination of a fair amount of graceful perseverance.  It was a series of choices to take risks and rise above adversity to live well.  It was choosing perseverance.

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Cease striving and know that I am God.  Psalm 46:10a

Despite my chronic illness, I would be considered by many to still be high functioning and unless one knows me, they would be unlikely to recognize my limitations.  I have learned over time that when I yield to the needs of my body for rest and watch what I eat, I can function somewhat normally; that said I still struggle.   It’s a challenge not to worry about the cost of my illness both financially and as a source of stress to myself, my family and close friends.  I also struggle to maintain some sense of control; if I can’t fix my illness than I try to fix other things that don’t matter in the larger scale as they provide some sense of reassurance that things are ok.  I also struggle with my self-image.  Physically I want to appear normal yet not so normal that people think I’m a hypochondriac.  It’s a common struggle for those of us with invisible illnesses.  Further, I want to be relevant and useful, but feel that is regularly not the case.  The verse above is displayed in our den right beside our TV.  I’ve put it there for two reasons.  First it is the primary focal point of the room and my focal point needs to be God’s sovereignty over all things.  Second, it sits next to the TV as a reminder that God is the final authority on whatever the world offers as truth.  Part of that truth is that I need to let go and trust God. 

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“They sang, praising and giving thanks to the Lord, saying, ‘For He is good, for His lovingkindness is upon Israel forever.’ And all the people shouted with a great shout when they praised the Lord because the foundation of the house of the Lord was laid.  Yet many of the priests and Levites and heads of fathers’ households, the old men who had seen the first temple, wept with a loud voice when the foundation of this house was laid before their eyes, while many shouted aloud for joy, so that the people could not distinguish the sound of the shout of joy from the sound of the weeping of the people, for the people shouted with a loud shout, and the sound was heard far away.”  Ezra 3:11-13

New Year’s Eve is the time when we tend to evaluate the past year and look to the new one with a hope of great things to come.  Our best New Year’s Eve was December 31, 1981.  That night our younger daughter was born and there was literally a party atmosphere in the delivery room.  In addition to my wife and me, there were two doctors, three interns, a couple of nurses and an anesthesiologist.  Rather than waiting for a ball to drop in New York City, we were awaiting the arrival of a child.  While it was mostly a joyful event, there was also pain as my wife would have to recover from the surgery.  While we like to label each year as good or bad, the reality of this life is that most years are a mixture of joy and sorrow.  That was the mood as the exiles from Babylon viewed the foundation of the new temple.  Those that remembered the former glory of Jerusalem wept at over the loss of what once was.  However, there was also the joy of Jerusalem being rebuilt.  It’s a good lesson in life…how to gracefully accept the joys and sorrows of life understanding that God has orchestrated our lives with purpose so that in the end we may be blessed with a joyful eternity. 

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“In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.  Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.”  1 John 4:10-11

My Aunt Margaret and Uncle Wilbur raised sheep.  For the twelve years I was in elementary school through high school, some portion of the summer was spent at their home.  One Wednesday evening we were getting ready to go to church and my uncle got a call that dogs had gotten into one of their pastures.  My aunt and I went on to church while my uncle and older brother went to check on the sheep.  While the dogs were removed quickly, it wasn’t until we had the light of day the following morning that the damage that they had done could be assessed.  I remember riding in the back of the truck looking for injured sheep.  There were several and the scene wasn’t pretty.  Uncle Wilbur loaded a couple on the truck to take home, but most, if not all, of the attacked sheep died.  The basic tactic of the dogs was to chase the herd until one of the sheep got separated, attack it and then repeat the process.    In most situations, there is usually safety in numbers, but isolation weakens our level of protection.

Isolation comes in many forms.  Like many, mine is associated primarily due to illness and my inability to work.  For others, it may be personality type, a change in marital status, leaving the work force, increasing frailties as a result of age, or any of a number of other issues which may present themselves individually or in concert.  Further, one does not need to spend a lot of time unaccompanied to feel isolated.  Often I have felt completely alone while surrounded by people.  Satan loves to find us isolated as it makes us more vulnerable to his attacks.  Just like the dogs with sheep, he uses our vulnerability to undermine our thought processes and, thereby, erode our faith.  One of his first targets is our sense of worth.   He works on us until we begin to forget our true value.

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“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.  You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You have anointed my head with oil; My cup overflows.”     Psalm 23:4-5

The past couple of weeks I spent some time with my mother-in-law helping take care of some things around her home.  On the long drive there and back I listened to two sermons from Ligonier Ministries…in fact, I listened to them twice.  The second, “All Scripture is Profitable” (https://www.ligonier.org/blog/believing-god-new-teaching-series-rc-sproul-jr/) was by R. C. Sproul, Jr. which brought up the concept of whether our cup is half full or half empty.  As this is a subject close to my heart, I spent a fair amount of time on the trip considering this topic.  Like the phrase “cup half empty or half full”, the word cup in scripture has a figurative meaning that refers to one’s lot in life whether sorrowful (half empty) or joyous (half full).  Like many, if I ponder my life without God, I would have to conclude that it is half empty for I have accumulated 60 plus years of losses, trials and ordeals.  However, when I consider my life’s experiences in light of God’s involvement, I see a different outcome.  What was half empty becomes half full by God’s grace.  Let me walk through a few “for instances”.

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Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin.  Hebrews 4:14-15 

The small group that my wife and I participate in is currently studying the statements of faith that our church affirms.  As I began preparing for a study on the statement related to Christ, I thought it would be appropriate to walk through it here since the Christian world will be celebrating Easter in a few days.  It’s a brief but great reminder of what we are celebrating and is as follows:  “We believe in Jesus Christ, His virgin birth, sinless life, vicarious death, burial, bodily resurrection, His ascensions to the right hand of the Father and His personal future return in power and glory.”

Why Christ?

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Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.  Ephesians 4:29

Idioms, colloquialisms, and slang are common in our speech and rather confusing for those trying to learn a language.  I am guilty of using all three. Having lived in or traveled frequently to different parts of the country, it is possible for me to mix phrases from various regions in the same sentence…adding to the confusion.  This became quite evident when I worked with a young woman from South America.  She had just immigrated to the United States and while her command of English was good, she had not yet had much exposure to the variety of idioms, colloquialisms, etc.  When combined with accents and cultural differences, conversations between us were sometimes laborious.  I would later learn that for the first two years, she thought I was being critical when I was trying to reassure her because of the different views our respective cultures had on the use of a certain phrase.  Fortunately, she was living with an older couple who regularly reminded her that in the U.S., the phrase was a form of encouragement.  I still felt awful about the miscommunication and certainly would have chosen different words had I known of the stress it was causing her.  Therein lies one of the issues with speech: miscommunication.  As ambassadors for Christ we’re called to guard our speech and “unwholesome words” can take a variety of forms.  There are many idioms used regularly in our culture.

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And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:19

I was recently included in an invitation to participate in an activity.  For various reasons I declined; any one of them had sufficient merit to opt out, but together, the choice was self-directing.  A few days after the initial invitation, a second was received.  It came on a rather busy day and not wanting to forget to respond, I sent a brief message indicating my choice.  Rather quickly, I received a reply questioning my decision which was followed by a volley of emails that indicated offense for both my choice and my means of communicating it.  The end result was yet another hurt and a broken relationship that increased my desire to withdraw from most people and especially pull away from the Christian community.

One of the difficulties for those dealing with life’s trials and/or the ongoing challenges of chronic illness is the focus.  We all face various circumstances that disappoint and frustrate us giving rise to the need of confidantes to whom we share our thoughts and occasionally vent.  However, when our thoughts become self-absorbed, we lose our perspective and cause damage in our vital relationships.

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