You have removed my acquaintances far from me; You have made me an object of loathing to them; I am shut up and cannot go out. Psalm 88:8
As I read Psalm 88, it seems to address in varying degrees our current situation. Due to the current pandemic, the world is more limited and isolated than usual. Not only that, but there seems to be a sense of mutual loathing between those with compromised health and those who are relatively healthy. The former fear that some do not take the guidelines seriously enough and may further compromise their fragile world while the latter may not appreciate the just how fragile some of our health situations are and deem those concerned as overly cautious. Admittedly, having been tested this week for Covid-19 following a rough respiratory infection, I’m somewhere in the middle of the scenario. I want us to be safe, but don’t want people cruelly criticizing others without knowing their stories…there are those who have legitimate reasons to be out and about. No matter what perspective one takes, we are for the most part, “shut up and cannot go out”.
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The mind of man plans
his way, but the Lord directs his steps.
Proverbs
16:9
As reflected in the passage above, we often make plans only
to have them changed or redirected. Such
is the case today. I have two posts
partially written but I’m not up to the task of creating. The weather has turned and my body is
reacting. Further recent events in our
life have me distracted and unsettled which also affects me physically. As frustrating as it is, it is a common dilemma
in my life. In an attempt to be more in
tune with my physical limitations and not exacerbate the situation, I have
decided to reuse a post from two years ago.
It’s not my first choice, but it is the prudent one and a nuance of
accepting the realities of my life with some measure of grace. Change is inevitable and as I contemplate the
changes that God has made to various plans throughout my life and the lives of those
I love, four reasons that come to mind are: redirection, placement, refinement,
and grace.
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Every good thing given
and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights,
with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow. James 1:17
It’s often said that the only constant in life is
change. That has been true for us this
summer. Within our family: we have sold
or are selling four homes, buying three, two families have moved, Marie and I
are in the process, our three grandsons have changed schools, Adrienne and Tom
just got married, and Adrienne has gone from single woman to wife and
mother. I’m sure there are more changes,
but that’s about all my mind can process at the moment. Most of these changes are intentional. The boys, however, had no say in the matter,
but seem to be adapting reasonably well.
As reflected in our family’s situations this summer, some change is
chosen and some is not. No matter
whether we choose change or whether it is thrust upon us without our consent,
there are usually benefits that are enjoyed and challenges that cause
frustration. It is incumbent upon us to
recognize that both are God’s will for us and must be received graciously and
thankfully.
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His master said to him, “Well done, good and faithful slave. You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.” Matthew 25:23
This past
weekend, my daughter and I performed the father daughter dance at her wedding
reception. It was not flawless, but it
was fun and was, by the accounts of others, beautiful and well done. However, those three minutes and thirty-one
seconds of dancing were the end result of hours of instruction and
practice. Throughout the last few months
there was a fair amount of perseverance for both of us. My daughter was juggling work, moving,
wedding planning, dance lessons with her husband, and at the end a sinus
infection in addition to lessons with me.
For my part, the normal responsibilities of life, the extra activity necessary
for the wedding preparations as well as getting our home ready for company and
the frequent dance lessons caused by body to get too run down. On one occasion my wife and our dance
instructor ended a dance lesson shortly after we began because I was too
fatigued to function well. The Monday
and Tuesday prior to the wedding, I was also struggling to do anything of
value. In short, the celebratory dance
that was enjoyed was culmination of a fair amount of graceful
perseverance. It was a series of choices
to take risks and rise above adversity to live well. It was choosing perseverance.
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Cast your burden upon
the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be
shaken. Psalm 55:22
As I was going into the groomer’s shop this week to pick up
our dog, our groomer was going to her car and looked at me but didn’t acknowledge
me. Later when she came back into the
shop, she apologized for making me wait and stated that she thought I was a
teenager using one of their parking spots and admitted that she was frustrated
that a non-customer might be using their allotted parking space. Given my age, salt and pepper hair, and a few
extra pounds, the thought of me looking more than 40 years younger was
laughable, but I took the “win”. In her
defense, I had on a hat, sun glasses and gym clothes making her quick glance
less than informative. Similar
misconceptions may arise for those of us with invisible illnesses. It can be challenging when people make
assumptions regarding our health based on how we look. When we make the effort to attend events and
do our best to look good, others often fail to understand how ill we are, how difficult
daily tasks can be, or how challenging it is for us to engage in social
activities. Those struggling with grief
or various trials may face some of the same challenges with respect to the
understanding or expectations of others as their struggle is not readily
visible. Even those with visible disorders
may be challenged by the expectations and assumptions of others if they strive
to present a strong demeanor. Consequently,
the phrase “you look good” can quickly crush our spirits. This was certainly true for me for many years
until I was shown a more biblical perspective that involves the impact of God’s
sustaining grace.
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The Spirit Himself
testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs
also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him
so that we may also be glorified with Him. Romans 8:16-17
As I continue to facilitate another support group, I have
the benefit of being reminded of (or in some cases, relearning) past lessons regarding
the roll of suffering in faith and in my relationship with God. I’ve been going to church since I was born
and I’ve been a Christian most of my life.
Much of my childhood was spent being instructed in or listening to the
finer points of faith being discussed or debated. As an adult, I’ve participated in many such
discussions and led a few. These are the
things of religion. While I have had a
relationship with God since my youth and recognize periods of significant
spiritual growth throughout my life, that relationship has been significantly altered
by my illness. In that regard, my
suffering has been my greatest blessing in that has matured my faith and pushed
me to a deeper relationship with our Lord.
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“Blessed be the Lord,
for He has made marvelous His lovingkindness to me in a besieged city.” Psalm 31:21
For those of you that follow my blog closely, you may have noticed that my Monday quotes and the verse of the day have dropped off. Life has been a bit challenging and I’ve had to surrender a bit to maintain my sanity. Life with chronic illness is a battle against both known and unknown factors. It is a battle of the mind and soul as well as the body which often leaves one feeling besieged.
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“They sang, praising and giving thanks to the Lord, saying, ‘For He is good, for His lovingkindness is upon Israel forever.’ And all the people shouted with a great shout when they praised the Lord because the foundation of the house of the Lord was laid. Yet many of the priests and Levites and heads of fathers’ households, the old men who had seen the first temple, wept with a loud voice when the foundation of this house was laid before their eyes, while many shouted aloud for joy, so that the people could not distinguish the sound of the shout of joy from the sound of the weeping of the people, for the people shouted with a loud shout, and the sound was heard far away.” Ezra 3:11-13
New Year’s Eve is the time when we tend to evaluate the past
year and look to the new one with a hope of great things to come. Our best New Year’s Eve was December 31,
1981. That night our younger daughter was
born and there was literally a party atmosphere in the delivery room. In addition to my wife and me, there were two
doctors, three interns, a couple of nurses and an anesthesiologist. Rather than waiting for a ball to drop in New
York City, we were awaiting the arrival of a child. While it was mostly a joyful event, there was
also pain as my wife would have to recover from the surgery. While we like to label each year as good or
bad, the reality of this life is that most years are a mixture of joy and sorrow. That was the mood as the exiles from Babylon
viewed the foundation of the new temple.
Those that remembered the former glory of Jerusalem wept at over the
loss of what once was. However, there
was also the joy of Jerusalem being rebuilt.
It’s a good lesson in life…how to gracefully accept the joys and sorrows
of life understanding that God has orchestrated our lives with purpose so that in
the end we may be blessed with a joyful eternity.
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Who can add to Christmas? The perfect motive is that God so loved the world. The perfect gift is that He gave His only Son. The only requirement is to believe in Him. The reward of faith is that you shall have everlasting life.
So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. Colossians 3:12-14
Within the past couple of weeks there have been quite a few conversations to make plans for Thanksgiving. While the menu hasn’t varied too much from year to year, the people with whom we share the meal have varied greatly. Naturally, the core group has always been our immediate family. However, many years have regularly included extended family, friends and acquaintances. As I consider those with whom I have celebrated this holiday, I am reminded that I am most thankful for the people that God has chosen to weave in and out of my life. Their roles, the length of time in my life and the affection for them has varied greatly, but they have all had a purpose. As the saying reminds us, some people are a blessing while others are a lesson.
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