“The LORD is my portion,” says my soul, “Therefore I have hope in Him.” The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, to the person who seeks Him. Lamentations 3:24-25
Like Peter walking on water in the storm, those us who trust in God may become distracted by threats to our security and begin to sink. Chronic illness can be like that, especially when normal often keeps changing. New symptoms, diagnoses, or infections can cause us to lose focus. In our distraction, we often seek human comfort or “reasonable accommodations” to mask our emotional or spiritual pain. A first reaction may be an obsession to understand everything there is to know about every diagnosis we have, researching every possible treatment or looking for the best doctor. As tension escalates, we may allow “tolerable sins” of anger and frustration take over our demeanor. We may even turn to less acceptable outbursts of excessive eating, excessive shopping or becoming a workaholic to forget. At our whit’s end, we may try addictive behaviors to numb the pain and frustration. However, in the end, all of these responses have two characteristics. First, they do nothing to address the basic problem. Second, they inhibit our opportunities for peace and joy driving us away from our Lord rather than to Him.
Research and choosing doctors are in and of themselves benign activities. There is nothing wrong with having a reasonable familiarity of your illness and the possible treatments. Analysis and understanding can be helpful when it is time to make crucial decisions. It’s also quite beneficial to have an excellent doctor. However, in the extreme, we are attempting to take control away from God and manage on our own. We are supplanting trust in God with our own wisdom.
Anger and frustration are clearly not “fruits of the spirit”. Culturally, we makes concessions for sick people. While we certainly need to extend grace to our brothers and sisters in their struggles, our personal goals should be to make our faith evident by our actions. Anger, bitterness, and rage do not accomplish that end and, in fact, inhibit our ability to be messengers of the gospel.
Excessive eating, shopping and work have their own practical disadvantages. Binge eating can exacerbate an already compromised health condition. Many of us with health issues find our funds depleted by the expense of tests, treatments and other medical procedures. Shopping for things that we don’t need merely adds to the stress. Working too much may provide a temporary distraction as well, but it fatigues our bodies and potentially ruins our support system by inhibiting relationships as it is a form of withdrawal.
While addictions may seem self-explanatory, they may not be straight forward as we think. Too often acceptable limits of alcohol or prescribed drugs quietly escalate to unintended dependence creating medical and social problems. Worse, in extreme frustration our impaired judgment may lead us to more dangerous habits related to illegal drugs, gambling or sex. These not only add stress, but also further complicate our lives by creating medical, legal and relational difficulties for ourselves and our loved ones.
Despite all of the physical, social, emotional, financial, or legal ramifications of these choices, there are greater problems with respect to our relationship to our Lord. First they say that God is not enough. His grace is not sufficient. We need something more. Further, they suggest that we really have lost hope in God. Like the Israelites at Sinai, we forget about God and turn to something more tangible…something of our own making that we can control. Finally, it suggests that God is not good because He does not keep us comfortable. Our requirement for comfort and control will eventually move us away from Him.
However, when we view our circumstances in light of Romans 5, we understand that the growth that comes from our trials produces hope. That hope will not disappoint. It will develop in us a sense of peace and joy. It will allow us to rest in God’s promises and trust in His goodness even on our darkest days. It does not eliminate the negative effects of a fallen world our lives or mitigate our pain and suffering, but it gives us an eternal perspective that allows us to say: “The Lord is my portion, therefore I will hope in Him. The Lord is good to those who wait on Him.” Put another way, “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion.” Psalm 73:26
Whatever problems you are currently facing, turn to our Lord. He is you’re your hope in despair, your strength to endure and your loving Comforter, Redeemer and Father. He is all sufficient and your portion in every circumstance.