“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.  By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”  John 13:34-35

I grew up in a household that was greatly concerned about what people thought.  I don’t know whether it was driven by my parents’ upbringing, the culture of the era, the fact that my father was a minister or some combination of these factors.  In any event, I was keenly aware of three things at an early age:  as a pastor’s family, we were being watched, scrutinized and held to a different standard; people will quickly judge others without necessarily having all of the facts; and information is power.  As a result, I quickly learned how to be open and welcoming without providing any information about myself that was not “a matter of public record”.  In short, I quickly learned how to manage how I was perceived.  Whether or not we are willing to admit it, we all do a fair amount of image control to be accepted by others.  And there’s the problem: the fear of not being accepted or understood because of some real or perceived flaw in our body, personality, or soul.  Other concerns arise due to our history or circumstances.  However, there are those events that will cause us to stumble and reveal more than we would like.  Those are the instances that Christ refers to in Matthew 15:18:  “But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man.”  Whether insecurity or sin, one can be sure that eventually something will cause us to spew forth in a moment of weakness resulting in more effort given to damage control.  Consequently, preserving our image not only takes a fair amount of work but also creates some amount of worry and impedes the unity of the body of Christ.  In short, it’s contrary to God’s principles and the peaceful existence that He desires for us.  In that light, consider the following.

“For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb.  I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well.”  (Psalm 139:13-14)  The first thing that we need to take away from this verse is that God has made us and “wonderful are His works”.  Further, the passage goes on to discuss how God has ordained the days of our lives.  No matter how we see ourselves or others perceive us, we are wonderful in God’s eyes.  That includes our diseases, scars, and deformities.  They are integral parts of who God made us to be. While we should take care of our bodies and desire to present ourselves as best we can, we need to quit worrying about what we cannot change and watch how God can use our weaknesses for His glory.   I was introduced to my sister-in-law’s mother at a young age.  When I think of her, I remember her kindness to me, the wonderful friendship she and her husband had with my parents, her exceptional cooking, and that she was someone with whom I felt safe.  I only remember her deformed hand as an afterthought and the reason that she donated her body to science.  Our bodies are shells that will eventually decay and give way to perfected ones.  Our principle concern should be what shines from within.

“And He gave some as apostles, and some as prophets, and some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ”  (Ephesians 4:11-12)  God has given each of us a unique set of mental and personality traits.  He has also ordained our history and our circumstances.  Together they develop strengths to exploit and weaknesses to overcome.  They develop gifts and sensitivities that equip us to fulfil a unique role in the body of Christ.  We won’t be perfected until the next life, but that does not keep God from using us as we are employing our strengths and redeeming our weaknesses to accomplish His work.  There are many lists available, but ponder this list of people used by God:  Noah was a drunk, Abraham was too old, Jacob was a liar, Joseph was abused, Moses had a stuttering problem, Gideon was afraid, Samson had long hair and was a womanizer, Rahab was a prostitute, Jeremiah and Timothy were too young, David had an affair and was a murderer, Elijah was suicidal, Isaiah preached naked, Jonah ran from God, Naomi was a widow, and Job went bankrupt.  Don’t underestimate what God can and will do through you at any given point in your life.

“‘For My hand made all these things, thus all these things came into being,’ declares the Lord.  ‘But to this one I will look, to him who is humble and contrite of spirit, and who trembles at My word.’”  (Isaiah 66:2)  Clearly our souls should be our primary concern.  Not to manage how we are seen, but to grow in grace.  God is ever present and knows us better than we know ourselves, so it’s a delusion to think that we can hide from Him or manage what He sees in us.  He loved us before we loved Him and He sent His Son to die for us.  He has invested in us and will complete the work that He has started.  To do that, He will use the Holy Spirit, scripture, events and the people that will love us as we are but are also eager to help us grow in righteousness.  However, we must be willing or even enthusiastic participants in the process.  Consequently, that means exercising humility and trust while confessing our sins to God and to the godly people in our lives.  In other words, we need to stop managing our image and become transparent.  Not only does it help refine us, but it builds better relationships with God and men.  When we surrender, we can live in peace derived from both the forgiveness we receive and the fellowship of our brothers and sisters.  Then our souls allow the light of Christ to shine as we interact with others.

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. 35 By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”  (John 13:34-35)  The only way transparency works is in tandem with a loving body.  We not only receive but also give.  When we are loved, forgiven and our confessions are held in confidence, we can trust; when we love, forgive and hold others’ confessions in confidence, we can be trusted.

In the end, we can’t really control what people think or say about us.  Further, when it comes to the opinion that matters most, God already knows who we are and what we have done whether good or evil.  He knows us better than we know ourselves and still loves us and is at work in us.  Rather than wasting our time on image control and fretting over what others think of us, our energy is better spent humbly drawing near to God, pursuing godliness and seeking to serve Him faithfully.  When we do, we will be drawn to those who are doing the same and will find a common bond; not in perfection, but in unity developed by mutual love, trust and transparency.

Let your heart keep God’s commandments; for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you.  Do not let kindness and truth leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.  So you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and man.

Will