He who neglects discipline despises himself, but he who listens to reproof acquires understanding. Proverbs 15:32
During my recent drive to New England and back, I was rounding a curve in the road using the passing lane. A semi in the right lane put on their turn signal and proceeded to cut me off. I was a bit irritated until a few moments later I saw that there was another vehicle in the breakdown lane. The curve in the road blocked our view until the last moment. The vision of the car seemed to be God’s way of adjusting my attitude about the driving of others. Granted, I was a bit road weary and tired of being cut off by vehicles significantly exceeding the average speed of traffic. However, in this case, I had made assumptions with limited information and errantly responded accordingly.
Discipline, rebuke, correction, constructive criticism, punishment, etc. are words that usually make us uncomfortable because the remind us of our fallibility and sinful nature. Another challenge is that the person seeking to change our behavior is also fallible. Consequently, the nature of our relationship usually determines how well we listen and whether or not we modify our conduct. How we respond will also have an impact on that relationship. The same is true of our bond with our Heavenly Father. When He chooses to discipline us, we need to refrain from judgments about His goodness and love that undermine our relationship as we have very limited information. Rather we ought to accept His guidance gladly by focusing on His motivation, goal and character.
My son, do not reject the discipline of the Lord or loathe His reproof, for whom the Lord loves He reproves, even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights. Proverbs 3:11-12
Quite often a child’s reaction to discipline is to accuse a parent of being unkind. Often Christians do the same as they forget that the discipline of our Heavenly Father is motivated by His intense love for us. He has loved us with an everlasting love. Consequently, our Lord’s discipline is not punitive, but rather instructive that we might grow in grace and mature in our faith. I pray earnestly for the faith of those whom I love as I wish to enjoy eternity with them in the presence of Almighty God. If I as a sinful man am that concerned about the faith of those whom I love, consider how much more our Heavenly Father aches to have those whom He loves mature in their faith rather than turn from it so that, they may enjoy eternity with Him? The God who has loved us so much that He sacrificed His own Son while we were yet sinners is refining us not harming us. He is lovingly correcting the His children in whom He delights.
All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. Hebrews 12:11
Yesterday was a difficult day as I submitted to and endured three GI tests. The first caused my GI tract to react violently causing a fair amount of pain; an hour or so later, the second stressed out my entire body; and later in the afternoon, an endoscopy, which I don’t normally mind, also caused a fair amount of stress because they stretched my throat, took biopsies and I woke up a little too early. Today I am in recovery without any sort of anger or bitterness as I see the value in these tests. My doctor ordered them to obtain valuable information that would aid him in determining the best treatment plan for my health concerns.
God has used a variety of unpleasant circumstances to instruct and discipline me as well as to prepare my soul for His refinement. Certainly, my poor health sits at the top of the list. However, He has also used job loss, disability, difficult and broken relationships, accidents, and the trials of those whom I love as well. He has also allowed me to “enjoy” the consequences of my sin as well as preventing things that I desired that were contrary to His will. None of these has been pleasant. While I have admittedly struggled to accept or understand many of these events, I recognize that the eternal purpose is to “yield the peaceful fruit of righteousness”. The cost is pain, sorrow, and confusion; but the benefit is a more godly version of myself. My current comfort is being sacrificed for my eternal good. Our loving Creator is still at work refining my spiritual being. Like my medical tests, I submit to and endure the discipline, instruction and correction of my Heavenly Father as I can see the value that it holds for allowing me to serve Him better in this life as well as providing rewards in the life to come. The pain has purpose and I trust that God understands the value of it even more than I do.
A fool rejects his father’s discipline, but he who regards reproof is sensible. Proverbs 15:5
As the youngest child in our family, I was at the bottom of the pecking order so to speak; therefore, there seemed to be no end of correction. There were of course the usual folks disciplining me in some form or fashion: parents, older siblings, teachers, etc. However, as a minister’s son, church members and people in the community thought that they too had a right to admonish me. On more than one occasion, I was told that I should refrain from a behavior as I was the minister’s son. In other words, their opinions were not based on whether a deed was right or wrong, but rather public opinion which held ministers’ children to a different standard than others. As a result, I became resentful of any correction and am still learning to discern between godly and godless rebukes.
Those who have raised us have disciplined us as they saw fit. They were imperfect people influenced as we are by their background, culture, social mores, public opinion, etc. Further their knowledge and wisdom were limited. The apostle Paul challenges us in Hebrews 12:9 that if we submitted to these imperfect people, should we not rather subject ourselves to God’s discipline? Part of our hesitancy may be that we erroneously project the imperfections of those who raised us onto God. Paul’s challenge is to recognize that our loving, holy, just, and omniscient Heavenly Father is disciplining us perfectly for our good without bias or retribution. By looking to the character and qualifications of our Lord rather our past experience, we should gladly accept His discipline and regard as sensible for the good it will produce for us.
Listen
Once again our perspective comes down to a choice. We can reject our Father’s discipline as uncomfortable, unfair, unkind, etc.; however, to do so, is truly a foolish act of cruelty against ourselves in that it makes our refinement more difficult. Our other option is to listen. We listen because we know that our Lord loves us; we listen because His goal is to perfect us for the value it has now and for eternity; and we listen because we recognize that His wisdom and character cause Him to discipline us in the right measure. When we listen, we gain understanding, we see His delight, we experience greater peace, and we deepen our relationship with our Father in Heaven. It’s your choice and it’s my choice…may we all choose wisely to listen.